


An Even Trade

by ICantReadEnoughFanFiction



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Character, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Kinda, Lima Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal harry potter, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:09:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12699906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICantReadEnoughFanFiction/pseuds/ICantReadEnoughFanFiction
Summary: Harry trades his life for Ron's and everyone is blind to the real reason why until the day later.





	1. Chapter 1

The meadow was dead silent as if everyone was holding their breath, while their eyes fell on the Boy-Who-Lived that stood in the middle of the large open grass meadow surrounded on all sides by towering trees. 

Behind Harry stood the Order and most of his friends. In front of him were the Death Eaters and their leader, Voldemort. The snake-like man had one arm wrapped around a shaking red-head that Harry knew as his best friend of almost five years. The pale wand of Voldemort's was pressed against the pale flesh of Ron's neck while tears of panic dripped down his own chin. 

The silence was broken by a choked off, muffled, a sob of Ron's when Voldemort jabbed his wand a little harder against his already bruising neck. 

"A trade," Harry said firmly. "Ron for me." He looked straight into his friend's eyes, guilt twisting his gut at the sight of tears and fear. 

"No!" Sirius shouted, barely held back by Remus' tight grip. "Don't you dare, pup!" His shoulders shook with his sobs. Harry glanced back, taking in a shaky breath at the sight of his family behind him. His godfather and honorary godfather holding onto each other with tears in their eyes.

The Weasley's were pale and tired looking, having been missing their brother and son for over a week from when he was kidnapped in Diagon Alley. Hermione stood alone, her wand gripped tightly in her hand, a facade of strength on the outside but her eyes and shaking hands admitted to her real inner turmoil.

Albus Dumbledore looked both disappointed and angry. Harry didn't need to guess whom the emotions were directed to. He knew. Tonks and Mad-Eye were in a battle stance, just waiting to fire off spells at the drop of a hat. 

"And how do we know you'll hold up your end of the deal?" A voice Harry didn't recognize asked from three spots over from Voldemort. A tall man, all features hidden behind the baggy robes and bone-white mask. 

"A magical oath." He refused to look away from Ron as he held up his wand and promised on his magic that when Ron was returned unhurt to his family that he was willingly all himself to be taken as a prisoner. His voice didn't waver as everyone behind him was screaming at him to 'stop'. 

All wands were suddenly raised as the Order pointed them at the Death Eaters and vice versa. Ron was shoved and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath as he sobbed. Harry rushed forward and kneeled in front of his friend, ignoring the rest of the world as he gently untied Ron's hands. 

"Harry. H-Harry you can't do this!" 

"Ron, Ron please listen to me." Harry smiled despite his tears. "Promise me you'll go on, and live a nice, happy life with Hermione. That you'll get over me. Promise me, Ron." Harry pulled Ron into a tight hug, pulling back while Ron tried to keep him close. "I have to go now." He tried to stand but Ron was clinging to him, sobbing loudly as he attempted to talk, stumbling over his words. 

"No! No! Don't do this!" All eyes were on them again, the spells and hexes paused momentarily as the emotional scene played out. 

"You'll always be my best friend Ron, and you've done so much for me, you saved me, I owe everything to you." Harry paused before shoving Ron toward his family. Not even a second later a hand clamped down on his shoulder and the sick feeling of apparition threw him to the ground when they reached their destination. 

\---

Back in the meadow, Ron started to scream, Hermione threw herself to the ground next to Ron, crying over Harry while the others stood in shock behind them. Next Sirius fell, soon followed by Remus. 

Fred and George held each other tightly while their little sister cried into her mother's chest. Their father stood still in shock, unaware of the world around him. 

It took a few very long minutes for Dumbledore to get everyone back to Headquarters where everyone went someone to be alone to cry over the loss of Harry, everyone assuming he was already dead, no one wanting to think about the torture he may endure. 

\---

Harry went along, eye dead, brain blank, and voice silent as he was rough-handled down the while marble halls. Portraits decorated most of the walls, all man and woman had platinum hair and either sharp gray eyes or intense blue ones, so Harry assumed the home was of the Malfoy's and his suspicion was confirmed when he saw Malfoy Jr. stared at him with a dropped jaw from one of the hallways that veered off to other places of the house. 

"Take him to the dungeons!" The voice that had haunted Harry's dreams for weeks ordered sharply. 

"Yes, milord." The man holder Harry's right arm responded before jerking Harry forward. 

The walk to the dungeons was a blur for Harry as he didn't pay attention, assuming he wouldn't even be breathing in a few hours. He was just thankful his wand hadn't been taken. He had been planning his exit of the world for years and now that he had an escape he wasn't counting on letting it slip through his fingers. 

Deposited harshly into the cell Harry tiredly pulled himself up on the stone bench. He waited in silence, hoping that soon the guards would leave so he could take his wand to his head in peace. 

Three hours passed before both guards left after receiving what Harry assumed was a summons because they both clutched their arms at the same time. 

Two minutes later when Harry was sure no one was coming back he stood, pulling his wand out from his back pocket as he closed his eyes. He raised the wand to his head, taking in a shaky breath when he felt the warm tip of his wand against his temple. 

Because his eyes were closed, Harry missed the Dark Lord creeping into the dungeons and staring at him. "Please do continue, I am interested to see where this will go." Voldemort mocked, not believing for a second the pathetic boy in front of him had the guts to kill himself. That the brat wouldn't beg for his life when he was about to be killed. 

"Please give a message to Professor Snape." Harry let a few tears slip, not caring that he was showing weakness in front of the man that had been trying to kill him since he was an infant. 

"That he was right? That you are a pathetic, insolent, brat that seeks attention. Because before now I was hesitant to believe him but this proves what he has been saying." Voldemort enjoyed the tears, he relished the pain of his enemies. 

"That I'm sorry." Harry focused his attention on the blood red eyes. "That I was a burden on him." Harry wanted to get everything out of his system. "He was right." Harry laughed in a self-depreciating way. "I've always been a waste of space-"

"I knew it! You attention seeking, dramatic, brat!" Snape growled, his robes seeping behind him as he neared the cell, eyes hard and his lips pulled into a sneer. A sob escaped Harry's lips and he fell to his knees, his arm grew tired. "You'll never do it, you're too weak! Too pathetic!" 

"Tell Ron I'm sorry." Harry didn't want to hear his professor's words, he didn't want to hear the words he grew up listening to fly from his Uncle's mouth as the metal buckle of the belt rained down on him. 

"You're wasting valuable time with this little show of yours." Voldemort wanted to see how far Potter could go on before he caved in and showed that he couldn't take his life before the foolish Gryffindor courage reared its ugly head. 

Harry let all the pain he ever felt in his life overwhelm him as he tightened his grip on his wand and whispered the words he wished he could have uttered years ago. " _ **Avada Kedavera**_." 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dark side is in for a shocking surprise.

Both men stared in shock at the teen boy crumpled to the floor, the green light fading quickly. Severus was the first to react, he fumbled with his wand to open the cell before he quickly pressed his fingers to the pale neck of the boy he owed a Life Debt too. 

"He's breathing!" 

* * *

Waking up was not what Harry expected to do. He felt around and was both displeased and surprised to feel carpet under his fingertips. He blinked the world into focus and when he realized he was still alive he screamed. 

He cried and pounded on the ground. "I CAN'T EVEN KILL MYSELF! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!" He hadn't realized that two men stood in the corner in the shadows. He frantically searched for his wand, letting a demented smile cover his face as he raised the wand to his head again. 

"We already know that won't work Potter." 

Harry had already shouted out " _ **Diffindo!**_ " 

Both men - once again - rushed forward and Severus cradled the teen's head in his lap, pressing his fingers into the pale neck. "He's still breathing." Severus wrapped the small body in his arms and against his chest. 

"Did you know he was suicidal?" Voldemort asked with an underline hiss, picking up the wand holly wand gingerly. 

"No." Severus felt the panic from before starting to recede. The first time the boy had crumbled he looked eerily like his father and mother at the same time. It was a memory that haunted Severus every day but terrified him to no end. 

"It's concerning." Voldemort slipped the wand into his robe, lips curled in disgust. "Strap him to the bed, I don't want him to get any ideas when he wakes up again." 

Severus waited until the snake man had left the room before standing, the limp teen body carried bridal style in his arms. Laying him down gently, Severus whispered the incantations under his breath and let the magical ropes wrap securely around the small wrists and ankles. 

Pulling a vial from his pocket, Severus, rubbed the liquid on the skin under the ropes, not wanting the harsh fabric to irritate the skin. Once finished he cast a spell to alert him when Potter woke before he slipped from the room, needing to find Lucius to alert the man of the change of plans. 

Walking out of the room he nearly ran into his Godson who was hovering suspiciously. "Draco, what are you doing here?" Severus raised an eyebrow at the child. 

"Did you really capture Potter?" Draco asked quietly, glancing down the halls with a nervous fidget to his body. 

"You may join me in your father's office to talk," Severus stated evenly before turning on his heel to walk toward his destination. He could hear the small patter of Draco's feet following him. 

They passed many Death Eaters who steered as far away from Severus as possible, either fearing him or dispising him. The rest of the walk passed quickly before long Severus was seated across from Lucius, Draco was sitting next to his father, and the office door was locked and warded. 

"It's unfortunate that I missed the capture, I assume our Lord was pleased?" Lucius asked after a sip of his liquor. 

"It was not as climactic as you may be assuming." Severus drawled. "The boy traded himself for his friend." 

Draco perked up and his eyes seemed to widen comically. "Weasley?" He asked in a whisper. Severus just nodded and Draco looked sick, sinking into himself with an ashen complexion. 

"Yes, he was the one in the dungeons this past week." Lucius sighed and let his fingers run gently through Draco's hair in a soothing way. "He just agreed to trade?" Lucius directed to Severus who nodded. 

"Even gave our Lord a magical oath." Severus frowned. "It was running smoothly until our Lord and I went to check on him in the dungeons after the meeting." 

"What was the problem?" Lucius questioned with a raised eyebrow. 

"He attempted to kill himself with the AK, weirdly he only passed out and there was no damage." 

Both Malfoys froze and Lucius choked on his drink. 

"Our Lord thought he was simply being dramatic but when he woke again a little under an hour ago he asked himself what was wrong with himself and why he failed at killing himself." Severus sighed and shuddered. "Before either our Lord or I could get his wand he tried again but with Diffindo." 

"I think I'm going to be sick." Draco groaned and curled into his father's side. Lucius merely wrapped his arm tightly around his son, face steely and blank. 

"We assume he is actually suicidal. I believe he has yet to act on it because the light shoved the whole war on his shoulders and told him he was responsible for it since he had ended it last time." Severus scoffed, he personally never thought the idea had a merit, the child was an infant at the time and if Severus had to assume what happened that night he would believe that Lily had something to do with it. 

"That is concerning," Lucius mumbled. "What is our Lord's plan, I would have thought he'd have killed Potter already." Draco flinched at his father's words, his gut twisiting harshly at the idea. 

 


	3. Author Note

Hello my dear readers. I have not update this fic since I started it. I do not know if I will ever get back to it. I am considering orphaning this fic but have not come to a decision yet. What do you guys think? Should I give it up or try and continue? Thank you for reading so far, I know it hasn't been the best. Sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please, if you don't mind, comment your country down in the comments! I'm curious to see where my readers are from!


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